The hidden pain of menopause

Menopause is often spoken about in terms of hot flashes, night sweats, or disrupted sleep — but far less is said about the deep emotional toll it can take. For many women, this life stage can bring waves of isolation, confusion, and a haunting sense of disconnection. During the Christmas season, when society expects joy, togetherness, and endless energy to socialise, decorate, bake, and give, these feelings can become even more intense. There’s pressure to go out with friends, smile through gatherings, and appear festive — yet inside, the lights are on, but no one is truly home. Many women describe feeling discombobulated, detached, and distant from the world around them, as if they’re watching life happen through a fog. A recent report from the Healthcare Safety Investigation Branch (HSIB) revealed a heartbreaking truth: countless women in perimenopause and menopause have taken their own lives, even after being assessed as low or moderate risk for suicide. Beneath the surface of “I’m fine,” there lies a silent struggle — one that often goes unseen, unspoken, and desperately in need of understanding.

The reality of mental health during menopause

During the Christmas season, it’s easy for family and friends to become swept up in the sparkle — the laughter, the lights, and the excitement of festive gatherings. But amid the joy, it’s also easy to miss what’s right in front of us: the woman who seems quieter than usual, who’s withdrawn into herself, who smiles but whose eyes look distant. She might be a mother, sister, daughter, or friend — present, yet not fully there. While Christmas bells ring out across homes, it’s the alarm bells that should truly capture our attention, because they must not be ignored.

Recent studies from 2024 and 2025 across UK and European mental health journals are now revealing the depth of the connection between menopause and mental health. Experts increasingly recognise that the hormonal shifts during perimenopause and menopause can dramatically affect a woman’s emotional stability, leading to heightened anxiety, depression, and, in some cases, persistent suicidal thoughts. These are not simply “normal” side effects to be endured, but serious mental health challenges that demand understanding, compassion, and timely support.

So, ask yourself — are you that woman that no one really sees? Or are you the family member or friend who needs to take a closer look? Because sometimes, the most festive season can also be the most fragile one of all.

What support is available?

So, what’s being done this Christmas and beyond under the Mental Health Act to support these women? While there are provisions in place for mental health support, the truth is that access can feel limited, and resources are often stretched thin. The NHS and other healthcare providers must recognise the unique mental and emotional challenges women face during menopause and build more tailored, accessible systems of care.

Women experiencing feelings of despair should know they are not alone. Seeking help from a GP is a vital first step, and therapists, counsellors, and support groups can offer essential lifelines. Yet, to create a truly supportive environment, we must prioritise mental health education that focuses on female-centric issues like menopause. This includes better training for healthcare professionals to identify early signs of distress and respond with sensitivity and understanding.

Ultimately, there’s still so much more to be done — from deeper research and improved screening to open, stigma-free conversations about mental health in midlife. Raising awareness is the key to change. For every woman feeling unseen or unheard this Christmas, know that your voice matters. And for those who want to make a difference, please sign up to our Flourish newsletter on the Menonet Our Mission page — because the more of us who stand together, the louder our voice becomes for lasting change, for ourselves and for future generations.